Sikender Lal Malik

“He wasn’t just a man; he was an experience, and his influence will shape our lives for years to come.”

On July 22, 2025, SIKENDER LAL MALIK succumbed to his long-protracted battle with cancer. He was born in 1935, in Rawalpindi, India, before the partition and before India’s independence from Great Britain. Although his legal documents state his birthday was January 10, 1935, he never really had any official records of his birth. His father, Sunder Das Malik, was a healer and medic who could accurately diagnose your condition by merely checking your pulse. His mother, Ram Pyari, was a homemaker and had six other children.

When he was twelve, the family was uprooted and displaced during partition. Sikender lost many relatives during the partition unrest. They made the journey from Pakistan to India, on foot, with only the clothes on their backs. Free and independent India had little to offer in terms of jobs. Sikender and his family lived in refugee camps and in abject poverty for many years-- Ram Pyari cleaned homes and washed dishes while Sunder Das treated fellow refugees for pennies.

Despite his stark environment and appalling living conditions, after 10th grade, Sikender heard about civil service jobs with the new Indian government. Newly free of the British regime, India’s fledgling government and agencies were coalescing and developing rapidly in the sixties. These were the most sought-after jobs at the time. To get one of those jobs, you needed to pass a series of stringent civil service exams. Wanting to provide for his family he became determined to land one of those jobs. His home had no electricity, and he did not have money for the required study materials, or the entrance fees, but he was extremely intelligent and highly motivated to succeed. His schoolteacher generously gave him used books and the entrance fees for the exams. During the day, he worked menial jobs and at night he would go to the railway stations, and under the lights of the lampposts, he would study.

Sikender’s father died suddenly when he was sixteen and he became the man of the house. Homeless, he and his family were fortunate enough to be taken in by his cousin, Bawa’s family. Bawa, who now lives in Los Angeles, remembers him with such fondness and love.

In keeping with Indian traditions, it fell upon Sikender to raise his four younger brothers and ensure he arranged the marriages of his two younger sisters, which necessitated he had enough money for two dowries.

Against all odds, Sikender passed his exams and landed a low-level entry-level job as a personal assistant to an up-and-coming Mr. R.N. Kao, who was the Assistant Director at the Cabinet Secretariate, a clandestine covert Intelligence agency.

Kao was an ambitious and driven political powerhouse who created and established R&AW (the Research and Analysis Wing, India’s first intelligence agency). Sikender was a stenographer and Kao’s personal secretary and became indispensable to Kao. As Kao rose in the Intelligence ranks, so did Sikender. With the rise in ranks came great power. While Indira Gandhi was Prime Minister, it was well acknowledged that Kao was one of the most powerful spies and Intelligence officers in the country. As Kao’s right-hand man, Sikender commanded immense respect and influence. They worked on many missions that were highly classified and top secret. These classified missions and the appurtenant government secrets died with Sikender, and he never shared their specifics with anyone during his lifetime– not even his family.

Even when he attained such success in the Indian government, he never forgot to take care of his family. He helped over thirty of his family members secure positions with the Indian government. He fulfilled his responsibilities and arranged the marriages of his two sisters who went on to have families of their own.

In 1964, Sikender saw a beautiful young girl on his way to work. Although she was years younger than him, and a different religion, he knew that she was going to be his wife. He was a Hindu, and she was a Sardarni (Sikh) from a very conservative and strict family. Sikender, though, was not to be deterred. He knew that if you wanted something badly enough, you could make it happen. He spent the next two years wooing this young Punjaban and her family. He worked in the service industry and her family were established in their own businesses. Mind you, this was Delhi in the 1960’s, which was very conservative and when love marriages were highly scandalous and taboo.

They were from two different worlds and yet they were drawn to each other. He grew his hair, put on a turban, and refused to take no for an answer and on November 17, 1967, Sikender married his love, Daljeet.

In January of 1969, they had their first child, Pankaj. In 1972, his job led to a transfer and posting in New York as an Indian Diplomat at the United Nations and Indian Consulate. The small family of three moved to Elmhurst Queens, where in 1978, 1980 and 1984, Sikender had three more children, Palavi, Manika and Kanwarjeet. During his tenure as a Diplomat he met many World Leaders, including President Ford and President Carter.

In 1972, Sikender, ever enterprising, was working days at the UN and secretly working nights at a Bagel Shop in New York City. It was at that shop that his life’s trajectory changed when he met a young law associate (Larry Hutcher, Esq.), who offered him a job as a legal secretary. Eventually he left the UN and worked at this prestigious NYC lobbying firm-then Davidoff & Malito- for the next twenty years. Hutcher went on to become a Partner at Davidoff and one of the most highly regarded and successful litigators in the country. He ultimately left Davidoff when he got a job as a legal secretary for a partner at Cravath Swaine & Moore.

In 1982, he moved his family back to Delhi due to diplomatic residency requirements. For the next eight years he flew to India for the winter and flew his family to New York every summer. While his children grew up in India, he lived in New York, working twenty hour days and saving every penny – earning a fortune the true American way.

In 1989, his family relocated to New York, and he bought his first home in Jamaica Estates.

Sikender underwent a triple bypass in 1991 and afterwards decided he no longer wanted to work for others and ventured into the restaurant business. He went on to own and operate successful Indian restaurants such as Malika, Malika Palace, Tamba Grill, Haveli, and Masala King.

This obituary barely scratches the surface of Sikender’s ninety years on this planet and words could never adequately illustrate his larger-than-life persona. Frugal to a fault and yet ever so generous with all around him.

To his family he was just Papa, Dad, Nana, and Bade Papa. To his wife he was not only her husband and life partner, he was her Raje.

Sikender is survived by: His Wife, Daljeet; His children- Pankaj, Palavi, Manika, and Kanwarjeet; His son-in-law’s- Luke and Gurwinder; His seven grandchildren- Herrick, Greyson, Dylan, Loaghan, Phoenix, Isabela and Gurmanik; and his great granddaughter Camila. He will also be missed by Grace & Brooke.

He will be forever in our hearts and greatly missed.