Priscilla Canevari

Wife, Mother, Sister, Daughter, Friend. All of these describe the roles my mother played during her life. In each of these roles she carried herself with grace and dignity. She was a strong and at times stubborn woman. Her heart was filled with an abundance of love and everyone who she came across felt it. She would do anything for her family.

The abundance of love was evidenced when her and my father wanted to complete our family and to do so, adopted my sister, Debra. If you know us, you’ve heard my father tell the story about the day we brought her home and stopped at my grandparents. I won’t get into the details, but I can assure you that very day she was their daughter and mine and my brother’s sister. The bond was instantaneous, more so between my Mother and her new daughter. Our family was complete! Over the years, the bond grew stronger between her and her daughter. One of my Mother’s favorite traditions was to go to my Sister’s every Mothers’ Day and the two of them would plant various flats of perennials and annuals in my sister’s gardens. At times, this was done in the rain. My Mother’s love of gardening and her extraordinary green thumb was passed on to my sister, along with her love for dogs and many of my Mother’s other good traits.

Her stubbornness was abundant when her first grandchild was born. Joseph was born at 6:03 AM.Back then, Saint Charles Hospital had pretty-strict visiting hours, which were much later that afternoon. But there was no way my Mother was going to wait that long. The prince was born. She somehow made it passed security and was on the verge of walking right into the nursery to see her grandson. No one was going to stop her. With the birth of every grandchild (now eight in total) her love grew stronger. From Timothy to Gabby, to Brendan to Stephen, to Michael, Declan and Anthony, her heart was full. When her brother and his wife Terri adopted Christopher and Tyler, she became their surrogate grandmother, increasing the total to 10. She also warmly embraced Alyssa and Kelly when they married Joseph and Timothy, bringing the total to 12. To my Mother, they were all her grandchildren.

My Mother’s love for my Father was never more evident, when he wanted to leave Long Island and move to Selden South, also known as South Carolina. Their circle of friends each moved to Bluffton, South Carolina when they retired, and my father wanted to do the same. After a few summer visits, they came home after one visit and told us they bought a house in the same community as their friends. At the time, I had a difficult time understanding this move. How could they leave their kids? How could they sell our Selden Home? How could they leave their grandkids? But my Father had dealt with some significant health issues years earlier and the winters took their toll on him. Plus, he firmly believed they’d be better off financially. She did it for him. I am certain, it was one of the toughest decisions she ever made. Leaving her grandchildren and her children was painful. They would come back up for the Christmas and New Year’s holidays and typically a week or two during the summer. From time to time, we’d venture down there to see them. When my Father’s health took another turn for the worse, and the financial benefits faded away, she convinced him it was time to come home.

This love for my father and for her children continued to be demonstrated as my Father had another health set back after another. She always remained by his side, not wanting any of his care to be a burden on any of us. Her love and care got him back to decent health. Unfortunately, a little less than two years ago, her health took a bad turn. Issues with her speech and saliva lead us to believe she may have suffered a mild stroke. After a nasty fall and a fractured hip, we learned she was suffering from ALS. This hideous disease took away her ability to talk and swallow. She remained dignified and strong and faced it head on. As this disease started to take away the strength in her arms and legs and her ability to do the life’s simple tasks, she decided she had enough. She decided she would not burden her family and loved ones with having to care for her, she decided she would go out on her terms. My Father kissed her good night, only to later realize it was goodbye. She closed her eyes and went to sleep, she awoke in God’s embrace, in the embrace of the family and friends who went before her. Her suffering over. We take comfort in the end of her suffering. We will miss her laugh, her love of flowers, wine and coffee. We will miss her beautiful smile and warm embrace. We will miss the love she showed us all.